In the pre-Instagram age, it was a lot harder to pick apart the private lives of celebrities. In fact, even in the post-Instagram, pre-Snapchat age, it was difficult. Without a peek into their daily lives, fans were left to languish in a world of mystery and conjecture. Especially Taylor Swift , whose life is so endlessly fascinating.
Back in the olden days that we speak of, the most curious aspect was her relationship status. The world was constantly dying to know who she was dating and exactly what was going on behind-the-scenes. Just imagine the expository lyrics we know and love today, but without the benefit of a constant flow of information on social media.
And thus, the Taylor Swift Relationship Clue was born.
Some lyrics were subtle, some were anything but, but they all told a story that everyone wanted to hear. If Swift herself kept something out of the public, that was never the case with her songs—she puts it all on the line and the resulting analysis is equal parts addicting and frustrating. Since there is basically no between-the-lines gossip in her new release with Zayn Malik to speak of, let’s look back on the biggest allusions of the past.
Just a boy in a Chevy Truck. Before the world was even introduced to Taylor Swift, she was a freshman dating a senior named…Drew. With the advantage of many years spent listening to her songs, everyone knows that now. But back in 2006 we had only the song “Tim McGraw” to give us clues. We learned that he liked her blue eyes, that he left her to go off to college, and that he was kind of a d–k.
I hate that stupid old pickup truck you never let me drive/ You’re a redneck heartbreak who’s really bad at lying. Okay, so Taylor lived in Nashville when she wrote her debut album so there were probably a lot of guys who drove pickup trucks and could be described as a redneck. But there was only one guy who drove a pickup truck, was kind of a redneck, and rebuffed her advances…and that was Jordan Alford, a guy whose now-wife has told The Daily Mail that they think the song is hilarious.
Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won’t see. Okay, so this belongs in the not-so-subtle category. She literally calls him out by name. But now we know that there was some major unrequited love going on.
I ran off the plane that July 9. Everybody gather ‘round for the stalkers guide to Taylor and Joe Jonas! On July 9, 2008 the Jonas Brothers played a concert in Dallas, Texas—a place that Taylor would clearly have to fly to get to .
I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile. Hm, who’s the tannest person that Taylor has dated, yet never really acknowledged publicly? That would be Taylor Lautner.
Dear John, I see it all now that you’re gone. Well this one is a no-brainer. You probably can’t even call this a clue, it’s more like a…blatant finger-point.
Left my scarf there at your sister’s house/ And you’ve still got it in your drawer even now. Darn it, Jake Gyllenhaal, give Taylor her scarf back already! We all know you took it, so just give it back, okay? It’s not even about the scarf itself, it’s about everything the scarf represents.
You would hide away and find your peace of mind with some indie record that’s much cooler than mine. We all know that Jake Gyllenhaal is a Brooklyn cultural elite who has a huge collection of Arcade Fire vinyls and a never-opened copy of Infinite Jest on his night stand.
I will follow you follow you home, follow you follow you home. Seeing as Taylor bought a house on Cape Cod practically down the street from the Kennedy’s Cape Code abode, this one seems pretty clear.
All I’ve seen since 18 hours ago is green eyes and your smile and your freckles. A simple Google Image search of “Conor Kennedy’s face” solves this puzzle.
You got that long hair slicked back, white T-Shirt. Well, this is off a song called “Style.” But if you wanted to Google Image search “Harry Styles white T-Shirt,” you’d find a plethora of results. It’s like the guy doesn’t own anything else.
Your necklace hanging from my neck. More Google Image! This time you’ll find Tay wearing the same necklace as Harry.